Sunday's Joke of the Day

All my husband wanted to do was to pay for some batteries, but none of the sales clerks in the electronics store seemed interested in helping him.
 
     "I've got an idea," I said, and pulled a tape measure out of my purse.  I stepped over to one of the giant plasma-screen TVs and started to measure one of them.

     Faster than you can say high definition, a young man came running over.  "May I help you?" he asked breathlessly.

     "Yes," I said.  "I'd like to buy these batteries."

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Bonus Joke:

While redecorating my bathroom, I phoned a shop to see if it stocked a particular model of toilet. "We haven't got one of these here," said the clerk.

"Oh, no!" I said, crestfallen. His number had been the fourth one I'd called.

"Don't worry," he added helpfully. "I'll contact our other outlets to see if there's anybody out there sitting on one."

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Extra Bonus Joke:

My son went to the local pharmacy where he purchased a six-pack of Coca Cola and a paperback edition of "Of Human Bondage." He saw some friends come in, put his packages on the counter and went over to talk to them.

When he returned the book was gone. He started searching the premises.

The pharmacist noticed him walking back and forth and asked him if there was a problem.

He answered, "I've found my pop but I've lost my Maugham."