Monday's Joke of the Day:

There Once Was A Man From Peru,
Who Decided To Learn The Kazoo.
He Practiced At Home
With A Tissue And Comb,
But Inhaled, And Was Groomed Through And Through.

An old Catholic priest, Father Blass,
Dealt a message condemning and crass.
His sermon was loaded
And it finally exploded
When his flock had reached critical mass.

Wife's coffee I drank had a force
So strong that it made my throat hoarse.
Made from moldy old beans,
So you know that it means
The java is grounds for divorce.
(Kirk Miller)

Buster Keaton's friend, Senator Custer,
Could talk endlessly on with much bluster.
Spoke for days with much flair
All about a young mare,
And remarked, "That's a filly, Buster."
(Kirk Miller)

On the first day of May, what you do,
In a basket put flowers, a few.
Hang on door, then for fun,
Ring the doorbell and run.
Leave a note that says "THIS bud's for you."
(Kirk Miller)

A cab driver's verse was stunning.
His poems had lots of punning.
Metric feet were a flop,
'Cause they just wouldn't stop.
So he said that his meter was running.
(Kirk Miller)

Playing golf all day
Two rounds and thirty six tees
A hole sum life style
A cold beer awaits
The golfer at the clubhouse
It's par for the Coors
(Guy Ben-Moshe)

I've Posted Some Limericks Quite Awful,
A Few Malicious And A Bit Sinful
But I've Torn Up Many A Joke
That Would Sicken Most Folk
And For That Please Be Grateful

My verse, on the pun, I have done
Please judge mine a fair bit of fun
My wit is well writ
You'll find my fare bit
Included more puns than jest won
(Gary Hallock)